


21 Years

by BlackthornPyre4UrEnemies



Series: 21 Years [1]
Category: Frozen (Disney Movies)
Genre: Angst, F/F, I was not allowed to write fluff as part of the rules of the challenge, If you see any fluff tell me in the comments below!, Nothing but angst, Post-Canon, So much angst, This one shot almost killed me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-29
Updated: 2020-06-29
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:40:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,496
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24977818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlackthornPyre4UrEnemies/pseuds/BlackthornPyre4UrEnemies
Summary: On the verge of a budding romance with Honeymaren, Elsa must return to Arendelle to rule as queen again. Honeymaren has sworn to lead the Northuldra and cannot go with her.A one-shot.
Relationships: Anna & Elsa (Disney), Anna/Kristoff (Disney), Elsa & Kristoff (Disney), Elsa/Honeymaren (Disney)
Series: 21 Years [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1812169
Comments: 36
Kudos: 75





	21 Years

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MLauren](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MLauren/gifts).



> I have been challenged to write an Elsamaren oneshot with 100% angst and no fluff. As a natural fluffster I almost wanted to die. I think there might be some fluff and romance in there, but I have tried to keep it to a minimum. Enjoy. Or maybe not.

**Year 0**

Honeymaren caught the letter Gale dropped above her head. She unfolded the parchment and recognised the elegant script immediately.

_I know we said we’d meet today to talk about us. But I’ve gone back to Arendelle. The physician said it’s time._

Honeymaren smiled, looking forward to hearing all about Elsa’s new niece or nephew. Talk about where their relationship was heading could wait.

-

Honeymaren felt the frost before she heard the thundering of hooves. A chill ran through her spine.

By the time the Nokk reached her side, Honeymaren’s breaths were coming out in white puffs. She watched as the Fifth Spirit descended from the water horse, her face ashen, expression completely blank.

Blood stained down the front of her white dress.

“Elsa…?” Honeymaren asked, very quietly.

The air around them was eerily still. Honeymaren looked behind Elsa to see that Nokk had left a trail of spiky, deadly ice in their wake.

Elsa must not have heard her, for she continued to stare ahead, eyes glossy.

“Elsa…?”

“Anna,” Elsa finally said, voice hollow.

“Spirits,” Honeymaren gasped.

Honeymaren felt as cold as the air around her, her heart plummeting.

“She…”

Before Elsa could continue, more horsemen caught up to them, all clad in the familiar green of the Arendelle military.

“Her Majesty!” they shouted, “we’ve found her majesty!”

_Wait…. Her… Majesty?_

* * *

**Year 1**

Honeymaren watched as Kristoff bounced the princess in his lap. Iduna the second had her mother’s exact shade of strawberry blonde hair, something she would never know except from portraits on the wall.

Queen Elsa emerged from the tent after speaking with Yelana. It had been exactly one year since Honeymaren had seen her, although Elsa looked like she had aged more than that.

Their eyes met, and pain was the only thing evident in her eyes. It was an ache dulling a blue that once shone with brilliance. Elsa bowed once to Yelana before walking towards Honeymaren. She reached Honeymaren, and continued walking. Honeymaren followed, until they arrived at their once familiar meeting area.

“I noticed Yelana’s limp has worsened,” Elsa began.

“I hope you didn’t mention that to her.”

“How is her health?”

Honeymaren almost replied with the truth, wanting to lapse into the easy honesty they once shared with each other, but stopped herself just in time.

“I really shouldn’t be telling you about that,” she finally said, “you rule the neighbouring kingdom.”

Elsa thought about Honeymaren’s words.

“I… suppose… then, given Yelana’s _situation_ , you will continue to reject my proposal?” she finally asked, sounding more like Elsa and less like a queen for the first time that day.

Honeymaren closed her eyes.

“Elsa,” Honeymaren said, abandoning Elsa’s title, “I’m sorry. I cannot leave the Northuldra.”

“And I cannot leave Arendelle,” Elsa replied, looking back towards the Northuldra settlement, where her little heir was with her father, “not for at least another two decades.”

Elsa started to head back, but Honeymaren caught her wrist in her hand.

“I’ll wait for you, Elsa.”

“Don’t.”

* * *

**Year 3**

“What is this?” Elsa shot back at her advisors, her tone icy.

She threw the scroll back down on her desk.

“A list of suitors, ma’am.”

“Why?”

“Arendelle needs an heir.”

“Arendelle _has_ an heir.”

“ _Anna’s_ heir.”

“And therefore the rightful heir.”

“Not after any child you bear.”

“There will be no children from me. What is this? This has never been a problem before!”

“Only because we didn’t bring it up out of respect. Your Majesty, the period of mourning ends on Queen Anna’s third death anniversary. Just like it did with King Agnarr’s. With all due respect, we must move on.”

The window behind them shattered with frost.

“Move on?! Since the day Iduna was born, that is _all_ I have ever done. Move on. What you are asking me to do now is to forget her. Forget Anna’s legacy. Absolutely not.”

Elsa waved her hand at the window to replace glass with ice. She slipped her gloves back on after. They were a necessary re-addition to her wardrobe for the past three years.

She started to storm out of her study.

“Your Majesty,” her advisor pleaded, “we are asking you to do no such thing. But protection of the royal family is financed by the people, and the law clearly states that a crown prince or princess must be the ruler’s child. When mourning ends, Anna will no longer be recognised as Queen, and protection for Princess Iduna must cease…”

“Use my personal finances.”

“There is more to this. Proclaiming that you want someone that isn’t your child to be your heir opens the floodgates. There are many viable candidates for the throne in your family, some already of age. Princess Rapunzel, for example… not to mention your other cousin who just married a prince of the Southern Isles. As long as you have no heir, Arendelle is susceptible to control by foreign powers.”

Elsa froze by the door.

“There is one solution… that might work in everybody’s interest,” he offered.

Elsa turned to glare at the advisor.

“You dare…” she knew where this was going, “you dare suggest this?”

“I am trying to help you.”

* * *

**Year 4**

Kristoff, King again after four years, stood by the ruler’s side on the balcony, watching as the last of their royal subjects head out of the courtyard to go home after the wedding festivities.

“I’m sorry, Kristoff,” Elsa said.

“Don’t be. We were both there, the night Anna…” Kristoff couldn’t say it, even after all this time.

“We promised her we would do anything to protect Iduna,” he finally finished, “and that’s what we’re doing. Nobody, foreign or local, can ever question her claim to the throne now.”

“I’ve made it explicitly clear to the advisors, that behind these castle walls, I will only ever be her aunt. Anna will always be her mother.”

“I know. In time to come, she will understand.”

Elsa gripped the bannister hard, the new wedding band cutting into her finger. She wanted to blast it with ice and shatter it.

There was a knock on their door. Elsa turned to it in surprise.

“I invited her to the wedding,” Kristoff explained, heading over to get the door.

“Kristoff, what…?”

Kristoff looked at Elsa sadly.

“She deserves an explanation, Elsa.”

He opened the door and Elsa was confronted with a face she had not stopped thinking about for four years.

“If anyone needs me tonight I’ll be in Iduna’s nursery,” Kristoff said, before walking out.

Elsa continued to stare at the brunette at her door, unable to find the words to invite her in.

Honeymaren cleared her throat.

“Congratulations,” she finally managed, “you look beautiful.”

“Honeymaren…”

Honeymaren crossed the bedroom and joined Elsa on the balcony, though she determinedly avoided Elsa’s gaze.

“I must say this was a wedding I’d _never_ thought I’d attend.”

“I should have spoken to you before the invitation was delivered. I didn’t know he invited you.”

“I understand.”

Although she didn’t sound like she did. Or that she liked what she understood.

“That time, when you told me not to wait for you…” Honeymaren continued, “I didn’t know you meant…”

“Honeymaren, I had to– “

“I know you did it for your niece,” Honeymaren cut in, “I understand politics too, Elsa.”

She tapped her belt, “I have to now.”

Elsa’s eyes caught on the patterns on it. It was Yelana’s belt. It could only mean one thing.

“Oh,” Elsa breathed, “Honeymaren, I’m so sorry. When…?”

“Last month. I was going to send Arendelle an official letter about the change in leadership, but then the invitation came. So I kept it from you. Funerals and weddings shouldn’t mix. Bad luck.”

They both lapsed into silence, minds reeling with how different their paths have become from what they envisioned.

“Elsa, can I be honest with you?”

“Hmm?”

“I wished you had married someone you actually could fall in love with. This feels like you are just closing yourself off to love forever.”

Elsa couldn’t fight back the words that came out of her mouth at that.

“You made that choice for me, Honeymaren, after you turned me down. I wanted to marry you.”

Honeymaren shut up at that, the pain evident in her nonresponse.

“I’m sorry,” Elsa whispered.

“No, you had every right to say that. Look, I think I’ll just… I’ll just go.”

Honeymaren turned to leave. This time, it was Elsa who grabbed her hand.

“Stay.”

At least Elsa spent her wedding night with the one she loved.

* * *

**Year 7**

“The chief of the Northuldra is here, Ma’am,” Kai announced, “she requests an audience.”

Elsa hastened to the throne room. Every brief encounter she shared with the Northuldran chief throughout the years was infinitely precious.

“Honeymaren!” she exclaimed, as she burst through the door.

“Your Majesty,” Honeymaren began, bowing low.

“What is it?” Elsa caught Honeymaren’s serious demeanour.

“This uh… has nothing to do with Arendelle, actually…”

Elsa waited, curious.

“The Enchanted Forest needs the Fifth Spirit,” Honeymaren continued, “the earth giants have set off an earthquake along the eastern river during one of their petty squabbles. Some of our settlements are in shambles. I know you have duties here, Ma’am, but…”

“Say no more, Honeymaren, and lead the way.”

-

The weeks spent in the forest were the happiest Elsa had in years. She had come to the forest on and off, but often it was just for a few days, to settle the spirits. This was the longest she had spent with Honeymaren since she became queen again. But every moment was stained with the lingering truth that none of it was permanent, and that Elsa would have to return to her kingdom eventually.

Elsa was sitting up in bed now, reading through the letters from her advisors as she played with Honeymaren’s hair. Honeymaren’s bare form was pressed up against Elsa’s leg, as her arms circled around Elsa’s waist as she continued to sleep, more restful than she’d been in years.

Elsa took one last look at the sight of the brunette wrapped around her. The memory of this would have to sustain her for the years to come. Finally, Elsa shook her awake.

“Honeymaren, I have to go.”

Honeymaren frowned, her arms wrapping tighter around Elsa.

“Stay.”

It was something Honeymaren never allowed herself to ask of Elsa, if she had been more awake to control her words.

“I can’t.”

At that, Honeymaren suddenly groaned, shoving Elsa out of her bed.

“Then why did you even come to my tent last night, Elsa?”

“Honey-“

“Save it. Just save whatever it is you’re going to say. I don’t want to hear it.”

“Honey… please…”

Honeymaren sat up, leaning forwards to hide her face in her hands.

“Just go.”

Elsa magicked her clothes back on.

“I’ll come back, okay?” Elsa waved the letters in her hand, “things are a little messy in Arendelle right now, so I don’t know how long it’ll take me to sort it out, but I’ll come back for a bit after, okay?”

“No.”

“What?”

“I can’t do this anymore.”

“Honeymaren…”

“You’re _married_ , Elsa. Granted, it’s a marriage in-name only, but this is still so messed up. Every time you want me, I’m here for you. But every time I want you, you’re not here for me. I can’t do this anymore; I can’t do things on your terms anymore.”

“My terms?” Elsa hissed, her voice dangerously soft as she narrowed her eyes at Honeymaren.

The temperature in the tent dipped.

“ _My_ terms?” she repeated, “Honeymaren, I never wanted _any_ of this to happen!”

“Neither did I!”

“That is a lie! I _don’t_ want to be queen. _You_ **_want_** to be chief! You chose this! You chose to be here, with the Northuldra! I can’t be here with you, but you could have come with me to Arendelle!”

“I chose to do this before I met you! I can’t go back on my promise to Yelana now! Believe me, If I had known… all those years ago…”

Honeymaren wrung her hands in her hair. She stopped herself from finishing that thought.

“Besides, being chief of the Northuldra was something Yelana has trained me for my whole life, Elsa, it is who I am.”

“Likewise, being there for my family and my kingdom when they need me is who I am.”

They stared at each other, realising that they had come to an impasse. The same one they had come to over and over again throughout the years. Neither was going to yield. It was clear, the path ahead. Whatever they shared, it had to end.

* * *

**Year 12**

Honeymaren rode her reindeer up to the castle gates, barely just in time, as the breathing from the drenched body in her arms was slowing even more.

“It’s the princess!” the guards called, when Honeymaren pulled down her unconscious passenger’s cloak to reveal the strawberry blonde hair, “open the gates!”

-

The king and queen burst into the princess’s bedroom, faces lined with worry.

“She’s going to be okay,” the physician announced, “we’ve changed her into dry clothes and placed her by the fireplace to warm her up.”

Elsa turned to the Northuldran standing awkwardly in the corner as everything was unfolding. She was shivering, her clothes still soaked, as everyone was too caught up with the princess to offer her rescuer a change of clothes.

Elsa skipped the formalities. It had been years since they had last seen each other, and their last encounter had been rather tense, but there were more pressing matters at hand.

“Honeymaren, I don’t know how to thank you.”

“Just happened to be at the right place at the right time.”

“And where was that?”

“The Dark Sea.”

“What?!”

Dread filled Elsa’s entire being. This was all her fault. She shouldn’t have told Iduna about Ahtohallan and how water had memory. Kristoff caught the guilt building inside Elsa.

“She would have found out eventually, Elsa.”

Patting her on the back, he strode over to Honeymaren, engulfing her in a tight hug.

“Thank you, Honeymaren, for saving my daughter.”

Elsa knelt by Iduna’s bed.

“Auntie…” Iduna croaked, blinking awake, “I’m sorry. I wanted to see her.”

“I know, my dear. But don’t ever do that again, okay?” Elsa scolded, tears in her eyes, “your mother is with you, here. Always.”

“Is she?”

“Yes, she is.”

And with immense effort, Elsa swirled her fingers in the air, conjuring up a magic she had found herself incapable of conjuring for the past twelve years.

Snow spun around in circles, gathering tightly together until a most familiar form manifested in the room. A figure that had once flurried away the moment Anna breathed her last breath was reappearing.

“Iduna, whenever you miss your mother, know that she lives on in us, alright?” Elsa whispered, her voice straining with emotion, “I have a friend for you.”

The newly-built snowman blinked.

“Hi, I’m Olaf, and I like warm hugs.”

* * *

**Year 16**

“You can’t marry a man you just met.”

“You can if it’s true love!”

“Iduna, what do you know about true love?”

“More than you. You married my father so you never have to give yourself a chance at it.”

That stunned Elsa into silence.

“Iduna, that is enough!” Kristoff stepped in, “that is no way to speak to your aunt, or to the queen.”

“You’re siding with her?”

“I’m siding with you, Iduna,” Kristoff insisted, “this is for your own good.”

He sighed.

“Now I’m not saying you can’t marry him at all,” Kristoff continued saying to his daughter, “you just can’t marry him now. You met him at the ball yesterday. Take some time to court him. Get to know him a little better. Then decide. It’s what I did with your mother.”

“For three years,” Elsa added.

Elsa and Kristoff exchanged a sad smile as they reminisced about Anna. Elsa turned to her niece.

“Iduna - ”

“Don’t start, auntie, you will never understand.”

With that, Iduna stormed out of the room.

Kristoff instinctively got up to go after her, as he always did whenever Iduna went off on one of her teenage tantrums, but he stopped himself when he caught Elsa’s grief-stricken face.

“Don’t take what she said to heart, Elsa. She’s feisty, like her mother. From my perspective, no one understands true love like you do.”

* * *

**Year 19**

Elsa arrived on the Nokk, without warning, as she had always done throughout the years. It took a while for the Northuldra to locate their chief to speak to her.

They were stood on the edge of a cliff, side by side, as Honeymaren waited for Elsa to explain why she was here.

“I am going to war.”

Honeymaren spun round to stare at Elsa.

“What?” she gasped.

“As you know, for the past several years, under King Hans’s reign, the Southern Isles has attempted to advance northwards. I will never let them invade Arendelle. We are meeting them at the sea between our two kingdoms. There’s a wide expanse of area out there, free of civilians, for a war to unfold without too much damage.”

“Shit.”

“As chief of the Northuldra, you have the right to know who’s in charge of Arendelle. King Kristoff will be regent for now. And should anything happen… Iduna is ready.”

“Elsa, don’t talk like…”

“You are a ruler too, you know why such discussions are necessary.”

“Come home, please.”

Honeymaren grasped Elsa’s hands in hers to pull her to face her directly.

“We’re so close, Elsa! Do you remember? The night Anna passed. You said it was only going to be twenty-one years. Twenty-one years apart and then we can be together again. I know a lot has changed since then but I have never given up hope! You will come home, right?”

Elsa closed her eyes.

“Watch over Iduna for me, please.”

* * *

**Year 20**

The young couple brought their infant to the chief. Honeymaren stared at the child, noting the curious hair, a distinctive shade of platinum blonde so unlike his parents’, and the curious eyes, in the deepest blue, immediately.

She tensed as the Northuldran couple explained why they had come to her. The child was a surprise. Born after almost half a decade of trying. It happened after the husband had saved his wife from their tent when it caught fire one night. Now, curious things were happening around them. More than once, they had found their son’s cot covered in snow, or his milk bottle frozen.

Honeymaren couldn’t shake the feeling that the spirits had something to do with this. She wanted to seek Elsa, but she was still at war. She considered including this in her letters, but thought better of it. This should be something the Fifth Spirit saw in person.

* * *

**Year 21**

Arendellian guards marched up to the main Northuldran camp. Honeymaren stood immediately, her dinner tray falling to the ground with a clatter.

It could only mean one thing. Elsa _never_ came after the guards. Nokk was always quicker.

A carriage rolled up, and a slim figure emerged from within. She looked like Elsa, dressed like Elsa, wore Elsa’s tiara. But she was much younger and had strawberry blonde hair.

“Princess!” Honeymaren gasped.

Iduna’s face grew taut with grief. A grief that she wore so easily, something she must have learnt from her aunt.

“ _Queen_ Iduna, actually,” she whispered.

Honeymaren’s heart clenched and she couldn’t help herself, she couldn’t remain strong for her people in that moment.

She fell to the floor, sobbing.

-

Iduna sat by Honeymaren’s side long into the night, the two huddled together in mourning as they watched the embers of the campfire die down.

“This is for you,” Iduna finally said, pulling a letter out from her cloak, “my aunt left it in my possession before she left for the war. Forgive me but I have read it. For security reasons.”

Honeymaren didn’t care that the young queen had read it, she gingerly took the letter, unfolding it with shaking hands.

Tears streamed down her face as she read Elsa’s last words to her.

“I didn’t know what you meant to her…” Iduna admitted, “I once said my aunt knew nothing about love, and I was so wrong. I am sorry.”

“Don’t be,” Honeymaren said, “Elsa was so proud of you, Iduna. She always told me that.”

“My aunt kept her promise to my kingdom. The Southern Isles have been defeated. Arendelle did not fall. She also kept her promise to my mother. She watched over me for twenty-one years. I… I am sorry she could not keep her promise to you.”

Honeymaren watched as snow fell down exclusively on the tent that housed the boy with the curious platinum blonde hair.

Honeymaren knew, in that moment, that the Fifth Spirit lived on. That the Fifth Spirit was always around to protect the forest and the people in it. And that included Honeymaren.

“She didn’t break her promise to me either.”

**Author's Note:**

> It's over. My heart is lighter. Honestly, this hurt to write. I have been playing with this idea for a long time, but never found the courage to write it. There are so many parts to this story that I hate and hate to love. But in the end, I am glad I wrote it. I think it has helped me as a writer :) In all seriousness, I am grateful for this challenge from MLauren, because I never would have attempted this without her encouragement. Special thanks to Domi too for tolerating my screams of anguish as I attempted to bang this out.
> 
> And now, if you need some fluffy goodness to cleanse your soul, and happen to be a fan of She-Ra and the Princesses of Power, please check out MLauren's 100% Fluff With No Angst SPOP oneshot! I love it. Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24971797
> 
> Lots of love,  
> Blackthorn


End file.
